Luang Prabang is one trippy place. Laos is not a rich country by any means, but walking up and down the main drag of Luang Prabang, I feel transported to some quaint little city in France.
Boulangeries, sidewalk cafés, limestone stucco buildings with shuttered windows, balconies, and terracotta roofs line the cobblestone streets. If it weren’t for the sweltering heat, kamikaze mosquitoes, hourly blackouts, and multi-colored tuk-tuks, I’d swear I was strolling through a side street in gay Paris.
Ohh la la.
Instead of the Eiffel Tower, Luang Prabang compensates with thirty-three Buddhist temples (wats) sitting side by side the restaurants, pharmacies, storefronts, and patisseries scattered throughout the city.
Bleeding to death from the 279 bug bites covering my body, dizzy from the torrid heat, and on the verge of insanity from incessantly scratching myself raw, I look to the heavens for solace.
The skies are dark. Thick black smoke billows overhead, robbing me of precious air. Coughing uncontrollably, I’m suddenly hit with the realization that I may have somehow arrived in Hell.
Well… I figured I had about a 60/40 chance of ending up here eventually. If you wanna play, you gotta pay.
Then it hits me.
Burning season.
Back at Elephant Village, my guide explained that every year from January through April, farmers burn leftover crops to help fertilize the soil. The problem is magnified by naturally occurring wildfires that ignite easily in the extreme heat and dry conditions.
Luang Prabang and Chiang Mai get hit especially hard due to their mountainous geography, which creates a bowl effect. Cold air and surrounding mountains trap the smoke inside the valleys, preventing the wind from blowing it away and leaving both cities ranked among the most polluted places on earth during the month of March.
Goodie. Now I can cross Hell off my bucket list.
Seeking respite, I head, along with the rest of Luang Prabang, to the only water source still alive: Kuang Si Waterfall, a multi-tiered, 200-foot cascade spilling over white limestone rocks into aquarium-turquoise pools surrounded by tropical trees.
With temperatures hovering around 113 degrees, the enormous parking lot is jam-packed with white vans overflowing with fifteen sinners like me.
Cramped into a vehicle built for twelve, with no cell service and limited ventilation, for the past 63 minutes has me in a devilishly, wicked mood,
Which quickly improves upon entering the adjacent Tat Kuang Si Bear Rescue Centre, operated by the nonprofit organization Free The Bears. The sanctuary rescues bears from illegal wildlife trafficking and bile farming.
One look at the adorable creatures turns my frown upside down.
Sun bears are the world’s smallest bear species and, aside from their ridiculous cuteness, are incredibly agile, intelligent, and easily recognized by the pale horseshoe-shaped markings on their chests.
If I could sell my soul to the Devil, I’d do it to save animals. Make my life worthwhile.
Pulled forward by the masses up the walkways to higher ground, my hopes of breathing easier quickly dissipate. My sinuses are beyond furious with me. There is simply no way I can survive burning season in any country.
Six weeks remain in my Living Like I’m Dying tour, and for one reason or another, I’ve yet to find “that place.”
Living out of a suitcase, seeing sights unseen, traveling into the great unknown, immersing myself in different cultures, beliefs, and environments, and challenging myself on so many levels is something I’ll always be grateful I allowed myself to do.
But my body is telling me it’s time to use what I’ve learned, take a breath, and dig in somewhere for a spell.
Mesmerized by the graceful water flowing over natural rock formations and gathering in neon-turquoise pools, I marvel at how lucky I am to be standing next to such magnificence. Engulfed in its glory I feel overwhelmed with a sense of calm.
Later that evening, sitting in one of Luang Prabang’s air-conditioned establishments and sipping a mediocre glass of white wine, I ponder my next move.
For the first time since leaving the States, I’m the tiniest bit panicked. Finding “home” hasn’t been as straightforward as I expected. The devil is in the details, that’s for sure. The biggest detail being securing a visa that allows me to stay longer than three months without having to leave the country for days just to obtain another one and come back.
Walking back to the hotel before the city’s 11:00 p.m. curfew, the streets are nearly deserted. The stone sidewalks, French architecture, and lantern-lit streets give me Disneyland vibes for some reason. Luang Prabang has an identity crisis, that’s for sure.
Crawling into bed, miserably uncomfortable with the heat, the bugs, the smoke I reluctantly summon ChatGPT.. He’s really gotten under my skin lately but under the circumstances I feel it necessary.
Chat, dear Chat, my favorite travel buddy of all time. Wassssup.
Yes, I’m buttering him up. I need something.
Our last conversation had me throwing a barrage of capitalized expletives his way after sending me on another wild goose chase, only for him to finally admit that Luang Prabang does not, in fact, have LaCrema Chardonnay.
Fortunately, ChatGPT is incapable of holding grudges.
We spend the next few hours brainstorming possible futures. Thanks in part to Denise piquing my interest, one destination keeps floating to the top of the list: Taiwan. More specifically, Taipei.
“If you like Tokyo, you’re going to love Taipei.”
My ears are perked.. Tell me more.
Apparently, if accepted into an accredited language program and willing to study continuously for at least a year, I could qualify for an ARC (Alien Resident Certificate), allowing me to remain in the country long-term while gaining access to things like national health insurance and a more stable way of life.
Doing my due diligence, and recent distrust of you know who, I fact check this info with Gemini, Chats nemesis and Google’s resident know-it-all.
After double triple confirmation giddiness abounds. OMG not only can I go back to school but I’ll learn another language.
And Mandarin at that.
Thanks to the devil on my shoulder – ADHD – I was incapable of completing college, let alone anything else. It’s been a literal recurring dream of mine to go back to school. Having the means now to keep the devil at bay, as well as the time, and the perfect environment to immerse myself in Chinese it feels too good to be true.
My solar plex is buzzing full force signaling my body. All systems go, full speed ahead. Without stepping foot in Taiwan, never having it on my radar, a devil may care attitude overtakes me.
For ten and a half months I’ve been searching Southeast Asia for “that place’ – the perfect city, the perfect apartment, the perfect lifestyle.
Maybe I’m not looking for a place at all.
Maybe I’ve been looking for a reason to stop looking.
If you’re going through hell, keep going. If you’re coming with me, buy me a glass of wine. 🍷
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