Behind the Scenes Travel Blog by Lary Kennedy
Behind the Scenes: Living Like I’m Dying
There are a lot of moving parts when it comes to Living Like I’m Dying. I thought it might be fun to pull back the curtain and show what it really take to keep this tour on the road.
I’m tour manager, meal planner, personal assistant, baggage handler, accountant, and customer service rep – all rolled into one. I’m on call 24/7. I’ve fired myself from each of these jobs at least once, but luckily, I’m a good negotiator and always manage to talk my way back in.
Every new destination means recalculating miles, money, medication, and motivation. If I don’t book it, pack it, carry it, or remember it – It doesn’t happen. But that’s what makes it completely mine. Every move, every meal, every mile.
It’s not nearly as glamorous as it may look. The destinations might sparkle, but the logistics behind them can be mentally exhausting.
By the Numbers
Since hitting my reset button, I’ve covered 16,381 miles – roughly the distance of a full lap around the Earth’s equator.Most of that was airborne but plenty happened on ferry decks, busses and the back seats of random Grab cars.
Miles flown: 14,787
Miles on land and sea: 1,573
Total miles so far: 16,361
Overweight luggage fees and overstayed visa penalties?
Priceless. To the tune of $400+, anyway.
Time since leaving the U.S.:
5 months
175 days
4,200 hours
252,000 minutes
15,120,000 seconds
Accommodations: My Other Full-Time Job
Choosing where to sleep should be straightforward –if I keep my dates straight. I’ve doubled-booked a few times (luckily, without consequences), but my last booking was for 18 days instead of 30. That little error cost me around $800. Ouchie Ouchie that stings really bad. I may need to make up for it by sleeping on a park bench- another new experience to add to my wealth.
Most of my bookings are though Booking.com, with a few Airbnbs sprinkled in. My target budget is $30-50 a night, but when my tour manager screws up I’m forced to pay $80 or more. My accountant was so mad about the recent overage that we had to fire the tour manager.. again.
The Food Reality
Food is the number one topic that comes up when I tell people where I’m from or where I’m going. Without fail: “Oh they have the best food there!” When I say I’m from America: ” You have the best food there!”
I love food like anyone else. I pride myself in my audacious palate, but truthfully, most of the time I’m clueless as what I’m looking at. I can’t pronounce most of it, and very little looks familiar. Rice and/or noodles are the universal constant – and they’re wreaking havoc on my waistline.
I’m embarrassed to admit that the top three meals I’ve eaten most often so far:
- Burger King Whopper with cheese medium meal with fries, and a Coke Zero. Burger Kings are everywhere.
- Hummus with Pita and sometimes I’ll order Falafel balls.
- Fish and Chips – apparently an Aussie/British influence, and for some weird reason I’ve become quite fond of them.
Coconut deserts are a big hit here. I’m stymied by the amount of sweets that are created by Coconut. Sourdough anything is an entire movement in SE Asia.. It’s crazy and I love it! It’s scary how quickly I can scarf down an entire loaf of Sourdough bread. Sourdough Pizza joints are popping up all over the place. Little did I know you need scissors to cut a slice. But do we really??
Try ordering a chicken breast! Even at KFC – virtually impossible. What the hell are they doing with them? Mushroom soup is held in high esteem here in SE Asia. It’s a big breakfast offering. No other soups, strictly mushroom.
There are exotic fruits in abundance here that you can’t find in America; Mangosteen, Ackee, Jackfruit.all of which I find delectable. Durian, the “King of Fruits” has a cult following in every country I’ve visited thus far. It’s practically worshiped an for the life of me I’m clueless as to why. It is hands down, the foulest-smelling, foulest-tasting, foulest-looking fruit on the entire planet.
I’m throwing up a little in my mouth just typing about it.
Day to Day
Water overall here is not drinkable. In my old life, I filled my Yeti with filtered water and ice from my refrigerator, and carried it with me almost all the time. Having to purchase plastic bottle constantly weighs on me big time. I’ve yet to see a filtered water system let alone a refrigerator with an auto ice machine. Ice is available to purchase by small cups, big cups, small bags and 3 pound bags. There are dedicated self serve ice machines.
Water softener isn’t really a thing here. I’d never given it a thought, or even understood the impact water softener has on the hair and skin until it wasn’t available. Shampooing straw is the best analogy.
Let’s talk toilets. Bidet away baby as they say in Japan. Maybe they don’t but whatever. Bidets are toilets that shoot water up your whoo ha and pooper once you’ve done your business. It truly is the optimal solution for overall cleanliness, comfort, and economy. An adjustable spray of water flushes away all the kaka . TP is used as a drying agent. Groovy idea if you ask me.
The Japanese have perfected the piss pot.
High end bidets feature heated seats, warm air dryers, adjustable water temperature and pressure along with personalized use presets. Other advanced features include auto open/ close lids, a variety of deodorizers, nozzle sterilization with UV light, and customizable spray settings with oscillating to turbo washes.
Between Japan and the rest of Asia something got lost in translation. For real the hose by the loo feels like a DIY car wash. Mastering the water pressure without getting drenched takes some time. Hopefully, I’ll get there soon. I will say that I would much rather deal with an unintended shower than to have to use the squatty potty.. OMG like why?!?!?!?
Ransdomsense
A key card, often times the one to open your door, is inserted into a slot to activate the rooms electricity
It’s called ‘take- away’ instead of ” to -go.” with packaging elevated to an art form.
In Malaysia it’s welcome without the your.. and they say can in place of yes.
Airlines greet you with Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls on every single flight. It used to get a laugh in the US but here they are for sure serious about it.
Doesn’t matter if its a hospital or a 7-11 they answer the phone with just Hello.
Using my streaming platforms in Asia is only possible with a VPN.. sometimes…and doing so on my 11 inch iPad is challenging no matter how hard I pretend its a big screen TV.
No ovens anywhere.. Microwaves and induction burners. Instead of microwave dinners they have air fryer dinners.
Crocs are universal fashion. Toddlers to grandmas, all proudly wearing them, charms and all.
Have I mentioned my never ending scavenger hunt for a drinkable, affordable Chardonnay ??
And Then There’s the People
I’m a youngish/middle-agedish/matureish/whiteish woman with a few/couple/some/12ish tattoos covering my outward body. English is my only mode of communication. Buddhist, Muslim, Taoist, or any other religion I am not. Nobody looks like me, nobody knows me and nobody has to give me the time of day. Yet somehow, everywhere I go, they do.
There you have it.. a glimpse of some of what transpires behind the scenes of Living Like I’m Dying.. so far.
TO BE CONTINUED…
