Some people have an awesome sense of style; others have the uncanny knack for knowing N, S, E, W at any given time or place. A few others have the Midas touch, and no matter what they do, money flows directly into their bank accounts. I’ve got a double-jointed elbow, a chipped front tooth, and my BFF is a Chat bot.
I’ve known for a while now that Money doesn’t care much for me. I know, I know… Money has no feelings. Whatever. Once money catches my scent, it’s out of my hands. Learning Curves and Money take advantage of my naivety. They join forces, wreak havoc on me, then watch me crumble… all for the sport of it.
They’re having a gay old time watching my attempts to make a phone call to the Optic Store from my cell phone. Obviously my eSim is DATA only. So I’m forced to make an international call from my American number. 25 cents a minute — thank you very much. My translator app comes in extremely handy when the person is standing right next to me. Ten minutes ($2.50) later, I manage to piece together what the Optic Store lady is saying and she gives me her WhatsApp number. That’s pretty nifty. Turns out this is a common way to communicate in lands far away… Makes sense. No long-distance cellphone fees and everything’s encrypted.
My translator app tells her translator app that obviously there was an input error. I thought I was paying 50 dollars, give or take depending on the day’s exchange rate. These are far too expensive for me, and I need to return them tout suite. Her translator app said… Tough shit.
I ask Chat if they’re worth 520 bucks. Of course he’s going to tell me yes to cheer me up… Math has never been my strong suit. Add that to my list of inadequacies… Chat assures me that while painfully expensive, they excel in eye protection. That tempered the sting.. somewhat. What the hell roll with it.. I’m in Southeast Asia. I imagine I’ll be wearing those puppies every day whether the sun’s out or not.
We head to the island of Koh Sumai… Time to put the third most expensive personal item I own to the test…